My real body will not be kept in the shadowlands, guarded by demons. It
will be under my bed. Nobody will think to look in such an obvious place.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to
prove it by leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisors will be a Fuzzy Bunny Malkavian. Any flaws in my plan
that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
I will occasionally consult the Primogen council…that is what they are
there for…
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will
not consume any Kindred significantly better generation than myself.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses.
Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never
utter the line "BRING IT!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
I will not fly into a rage and kill a ghoul who brings me bad news just to
illustrate how evil I really am. Good ghouls are hard to come by. I shall
instead poach him.
I will not take horrid form. It never helps.
If my Sheriff tells me my shock troops of Gangrel and Brujah are losing a
battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my Sheriff.
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable
Sheriff or Scourge, I will use him as early and as often as possible.
I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the
beautiful Sabbat Kindred and she claims she is attracted to my power and good
looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
Once a traitor, always a traitor.
I will only employ Assamites or other assassins who work for blood or
money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like
even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for
what in my city. For example, if my Seneschal screws up I will not draw my
sword, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly
turn and kill some random neonate.
If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man
possibly do?", I will reply "This." and stake the advisor.
If I learn that a brave young neonate has begun a quest to destroy me, I
will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to
earn experience points.
I will treat any thrall which I control through dominate or the Blood Bond
with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not
immediately come after me for revenge.
I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine
my haven and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I
might not know (but the STs always do know) about.
I will not strike a bargain with a Justicar then attempt to double-cross
them simply because I feel like being contrary.
The Nosferatu and Malkavians will have their place in my coterie. However
before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and
subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would
attract less attention.
Before employing any cheesy magical items, I will carefully read the
owner's manual.
If my Seneschal asks "Why are you risking everything on such a mad
scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies him.
I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all derangements and
mental flaws which could prove to be a disadvantage.
I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only
reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one
time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life
again.
I will not agree to let the blood hunted individual go free if they win a
ordeal, even though my coterie assures me it is impossible for them to
succeed.
I will instruct my coterie to attack the enemy in groups of 3, that way,
we never get the Mass Combat rules used against us.
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "Bring him to me in Torpor!" The
command will be "And try to take him staked or torpored if it is reasonably
practical."
I will not ignore the neonate that stumbles in exhausted and obviously
agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It
might actually be important.
If I ever talk to my enemy on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I
will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility
of the camarilla and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet
contemplation I will likely join him in the valiant efforts of the Sabbat.
(Shovelheads are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident -- I'm
not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.
I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I
simply choose not show them any.
My coterie-mates will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my
coterie, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any
other dress codes.
Any and all cheesy magic items and/or Technocracy Technology items will be
outlawed and destroyed.
I will offer caitiff and oddball bloodlines the choice of working
exclusively for me or being staked out for the sun.
I will not rely entirely upon "totally reliable" disciplines that can be
neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talismans, like blue silk cords.
I will never accept a honor dual.
No matter how much I want revenge, I will never order an underling "Leave
him. He's mine!"
Before appointing someone as my scourge. I will conduct a thorough
background investigation and security clearance. I would not want to end up
with a Assamite instead of a Brujah.
If I build a bomb, I will simply remember which wire to cut if it has to
be deactivated and make every wire red.
If I burst into the Sabbat Communal Haven and find it deserted except for
an odd, blinking device, I will not walk up and investigate; I'll bail the
possession suit.
I will appoint one hopelessly stupid and incompetent scourge, but make
sure that he is full of misinformation when I send him to kill the Sabbat.
I will plan in advance what to do with each of my enemies if they are
captured. That way, I will never have to order someone to be staked and
torpored while I decide his fate.
I will have my haven checked out by a non-Giovanni necromancer regularly.
Although ghosts provide an appropriate atmosphere, they tend be information
leaks.
I will not hold salon within my Haven. Any event open to general camarilla
society will be held down far away at an Elysium Site.
I will remember that my character sheet is to be revealed strictly on a
need-to-know basis. I will also remember that no one but storytellers need to
know.
I will not employ a Tremere if he wears a cloak, claims to be “The Tremere
you can Trust”, or has the last name “Daemos”.
Whatever my flaws are, I will fake different ones. For example, ordering
all religious items removed from the palace, screaming and flinching whenever
someone accidentally holds up one, etc.
I will not procrastinate regarding any chance to learn more Fortitude.
I will never declare, no matter how much the Justicars screw me over,
“BEHOLD YOUR NEW ARCHBISHOP!”. After that, you have a tendency to never be
seen much anymore.
I will never assemble a staff that’s effect is unknown.